Life Coaching – Pagina 2

Turn the tide

We are more likely to remember the negative things than the positive. We also tend to focus on our shortcomings, our lack or our bad habits !

And of course a lot of people, especially the critics are immediately there to remind us of our former mistakes or our past failures ! One mistake, one bad choice and you are nailed to the cross or are looking towards a life time penance !

There are enough examples in the media : businessmen, sporters, actors, tumbling off their pedestal, once adored and idolized now despised, condemned and reviled ! It’s as we are always looking for a scapegoat, someone to blame !

In 2011, a Bundesliga referee couldn’t cope with all the nasty remarks anymore and he attempted suicide hours before a game. Luckily his assistants found him and were able to take him to a hospital and save his life.

While he was recovering he received a note from German star Bastian Schweinsteiger. The Bayern Munich star wrote to Rafati : “Mr Rafati, there are often setbacks in life, but you have to bounce back each time. I wish you all the best.”

The little note made a huge impact on Mr. Rafati’s life. He was touched by the player’s kindness. But how do you turn the tide when things get out of hand ? How do you bounce back when things have gone too far, when it even seems too much to handle ? You can’t cope with it anymore and are ready to throw in the towel…

Put everything back in perspective !

We are human, humans make mistakes ! It’s an integral part of life, inherent to life. Mistakes are part of our growth process, we can learn from them ! They can teach us what works and what doesn’t, so that we are able to adjust or change course !

Don’t identify with your mistakes or problems. If you keep repeating that you are a failure, that nothing ever really works out for you, you will never escape this roundabout of negativity. You have to break the pattern and start putting more positivity in yourself.

Bring back positivity

We all know that boss who is unable to compliment us for our good work or praise us for our excellence but happens to spot and comment every single thing that goes wrong.

We all remember our teachers who couldn’t utter a single positive word, who were always belittling, complaining, judging…who picked on us !

Or we had parents who were never satisfied of our actions and our behaviour and now it seems as if you have to prove yourself continiously in life. “Am I right or wrong, am I doing good ? I don’t know what to do !”

You start doubting and worrying and you become indecisive about what you really want !

Stop looking for others’ appreciation or approval

What other people think or say about you shouldn’t be of any concern to you. When others trigger you and leave you feeling bad, you have given permission to them to pollute your personal space.

Do not let them enter your system ! Each time you let them penetrate your energyfield, you devaluate yourself !

If you keep living according to others’ standards and morals, you’ll have to face a lot of regrets in life. Why don’t you take the direction YOU want in life and choose the things that make you feel good ?

Restore your self worth

If we would be more self loving, we wouldn’t experience that much resistance or opposition in life. Be less judgemental about yourself and others ! Stop giving your power away ! Focus on your own progress. Invest in yourself !

Start talking positively to yourself instead of repeating “Mea Culpa” all the time. Blame, guilt and shame are too heavy burdens to carry around for long ! These emotions will only affect and infect you in a bad way !

Be forgiving

When someone did you wrong, staying resentful, spewing hateful thoughts or words will only keep you trapped in negativity. Same as for seeking revenge : “He will pay for what he did, he won’t get away with it…” Remember that hatred eats the soul of the hater, not the hated !

Sometimes the most important person you need to forgive is yourself ! When you have done something wrong and feel bad about it, admit it, apologize and ask for forgiveness ! Even if the other person refuses to forgive you, that’s their choise !

And if you have trouble forgiving someone, keep the following sentence in mind : Every saint has a past, every sinner has a future !

Phuro! Be inspired!

Souls in distress

What if there were a book available to help you take the direction you truly desire in life or help you solve any kind of problem or life situation ?

What if there were a brilliant method to empower yourself and have a clear understanding of your inner nature ? Would you buy such a book or program ?

Maybe you did buy one of these thousands self-help books or online programs promising the end to all of your misery ! You were excited ! You read, took notes or highlighted certain phrases that were interesting. You even did the exercices that were recommended…

But after that promising start, you found out that your motivation was decreasing, you felt it wasn’t worth the try or you didn’t see the change you desired. You threw the book in a corner and picked up life as usual, until there was once again a new crisis or a new promising program online…

What if there’s a helpful tool, completely free of charge offering simple solutions to all life’s challenges ? What if you can access it anywhere, anytime, anyplace you want ? What if you were born with it and this system exists within you ?

It is your emotional system ! The gps to navigate through life, the tools to cure your soul in distress are your e-motions ! The tools through which you balance yourself are your emotions.

Some are immediately expressed or brought to the surface, others are burried or hidden deep within your unconscious. All painful or unprocessed emotions are stored in your body !

Whenever you experience negative emotions, you are holding on to negative thoughts. The mental or physical pain you are feeling is YOUR effort to sustain your negative beliefs and thoughts ! Thoughts are creative and have immense power. You should always be watchful for what you think and believe !

Shouldn’t I analyse my thoughts then instead of my emotional state ? It’s impossible to investigate all your thoughts as we humans have 50.000 or 70.000 thoughts a day and we are not conscious of them all ! How do you know which one is the cause of your problems ?

Whenever you FEEL bad, you are feeding yourself with untruths coming from your unconscious beliefs and thoughts and the words you are stating to yourself.

Are there negative feelings bubbling up ? Release these before they pile up in your mind and body, hiding who you really are underneath all that junk, causing un-ease or even dis-ease in your body.

Take a break for a few moments when you are feeling bad. Stop ! The only question you should ask yourself is : How am I feeling now ?

Feel where the un-ease is seated in your body and how it exactly feels ! Don’t think about the answer, just connect to your body and let your body speak !

Put your focus (mental imagery) on what you want instead of what you don’t want. Focus on things that feel good and keep your self-talk positive if you want to have a succesful result !

Start by being positive to yourself ! Only tune in to the good vibes ! Don’t let other people dictate how you feel ! Give off good vibrations and good things will follow !

Phuro! Be inspired!

The power of imagination

Life is a process of learning, unlearning and relearning.

Remember when they told you : “It’s just your imagination ! Put your dreams away ! You can’t do that !”

Let the words of the greatest convince you of the power of your imagination !

Be inspired!

Let go, let God

“Growth is only letting go of the concepts of lack and limitation or, on the positive side, going within and seeing this unlimited being that we are and choosing to remain as such.”

Lester Levenson

A lot of people are anxious to let go of their attachements and suppressed emotions. They wonder what will be left of them once they have released these things.

“Will I lose my identity ? Will I be unrecognisable to myself ? Will I get senseless ? Will I become unable to experience the wonders of life ? They again fear…the unknown.

It is a remembrance however. The thousands years of ignorance made us all fall in deep sleep and amnesia. We completely forgot who we are.

All the identities you created in order to properly function in this world aren’t who you truly are. You believe that they are you, but they are just holding a veil in front of the real you. You are feeling restless because you drove far off from your own beingness.

Trying to get rid of your negativity and problems is struggling with them and sustaining them. The only way you can get rid off them is by not holding on to them.

You still hold the mental image in mind of the things you don’t want instead of what you desire. You are still thinking in terms of limitation and bounderies.

Let go of what keeps you trapped in a vicious negative cycle, strip off layer by layer until all the weight and illusions are gone.

What is left when you strip off all these impostors is your Beingness and it has more to offer than all the things you are so desperately trying to sustain or cling on to.

You will gradually see glimpses of who you are, what you came here to do and where you came from. As you remember who you are, you exponentially grow.

True feelings will arise again because they will come from source, straight from the heart, where judgement is non existent and only truth is seen and experienced.

In order to let go of what troubles us, we don’t necessarely have to dig deep in our subconscious. We would only involve our thinking too much, leaving us doubting more and even creating more drama in our life.

Letting go is easy and simple but it can look hard because of all our past habits. Just let go and let God restore everything to perfection. Return to the stillness of your being and surrender to that higher power.

You are an infinite being able to accomplish anything ! Just don’t mind the mind and the mind won’t need minding !

Phuro! Be inspired!

Be a balanced bouncer !

When you were born, you were born “clean”, with a clear slate. But then people began “steering and molding” you. You were learned what was appropriate and what was not, what was “bad” and what was “good”, people taught you how to behave ! The conditionning had begun.

Then people began putting all kinds of “spells and curses” upon you : “You are a good for nothing type !”, “You can’t do that you dummy, people will laugh at you !”, “Why can’t you behave ?”

Even your girlfriend who says : “You’ll never find someone like me again, ever !”, without noticing it herself, is cursing you too !

Once this curse is placed in your unconscious mind, and repeated with time, it gets a life of its own : it turns into a belief that blocks you from further growth and you are completely unaware of its source !

Are you still wondering why on earth things are not working out for you ? Why your life is running on auto mode ? Well you became a good spell caster yourself : a black magician !

You believed all the stories from the past and you became fearful, you started stating all kind of untruthful things to yourself : “I am not this, I have not that, I should not do this,…” “Poor me !”

You looked for happiness outside of yourself or you tried to get it in acquiring all kinds of stuff. You searched for love in your partner, you searched for recognition at work,…

Are you judging others or are you constantly critizing people, putting names on things,…? Are you still feeling ashamed or guilty for what happened a long time ago ? Quit doing penance your whole life !

When you’re about to enter a club at night, you make sure you don’t do anything that pisses off the bouncer, don’t you ? And once you’re in, you behave, so you wouldn’t be thrown out immediately. Right ?

Are you in or out of your club of creation ? Who is staying in your head uninvited ? Who is running around making a lot of turmoil ? Who’s spoiling all the fun ? What is turning the positive vibe in a creepy atmosphere ? What triggers you for a fight ?

Take a break ! Stop ! You need to create a guard, a watchman at the gate, some kind of governor who can take over the command when there is riot in your head. Someone who can restore the balance and act from a higher place.

As the creator of your life you have the power to decide who or what you give entrance to in your life…You decide : You are the bouncer !

You are strong and able to protect yourself. You can say no to the hooligans from your past ! You can skip the dance with the demons in your mind ! You can stop flirting with the devil and bounce all these nasty bitches off !

Let the kind thoughts enter, the loving ones that give you a warm fuzzy feeling. Invite the joyful thoughts in and dance with them all night !

Be there with the strong ones, the courageous and adventurous ones, who gave up judgements and trials long ago, who don’t have to hide or prove anything to anyone !

Remember you are the bouncer : you can get bounced off or you can bounce back. Be a balanced bouncer : set bounderies for yourself and choose wisely !

Phuro! Be inspired!

Transformation !

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind”

Romans 12 : 2

When we have eaten something toxic, our body automatically flushes out toxins, we don’t need to instruct it. When we are sick, our body knows how to heal itself. Every part of us – from organs to cells – is able to recreate itself automatically !

Inside every cell we are also able to hold memories, negative and positive ones. The physical body retains a memory of what the mind experiences. The mind or brain and nervous system retain a memory of what the body experiences.

If muscle memory wouldn’t exist, we would probably have to relearn fundamental basic skills every day such as riding a bicycle or how to kiss !

It stores the negative things aswell ; physical and psychological trauma we experienced during the course of our life. Dr. Deepak Chopra calls this the phantom memory within our cells (cellular memory).

Long after a trauma, deep within the brain, our subconscious mind remembers. The smells, the sounds, the tastes, the visuals surrounding the event are stored to form an emotional picture within the brain.

We can stimulate our body’s natural regenerative process. We can support our body by giving it the right commands. We can heal our body by holding the right intentions for it and visualising it healthy !

Our cells are reacting to everything that our mind says. If we think negative thoughts we harm our body and are affecting our immune system in a bad way, If we think positive thoughts that leave us feeling happy, we are nourishing our whole body-mind-soul system !

Phuro! Be inspired!

Find your king-pin !

“I now exercise my fearless faith in three ways : THINKING, SPEAKING AND ACTING. I am UNMOVED by appearances, therefore appearances MOVE.”

Florence Scovel Shinn

Everyone who is into metaphysics surely knows the works of Florence Scovel Shinn. She has written several books, her most known one is “The game of life and how to play it”

An important thing I remember about her work is that she talked about finding your king-pin, the thought which is your great oppressor, the thought which is blocking you from moving forward in life.

In the logging camps in the Spring, the logs are sent down the rivers in great numbers. Sometimes the logs become crossed and cause a jam. The men look for the log causing the jam (they call it the king-pin), straighten it, and the logs rush down the river again.

Just as with the logs that can get stuck by this king-pin, our natural flow of energy can be blocked, emotional debris are piled up due to our habitual negative thinking. This includes all our doubts, our fears, our worries…

Are you experiencing an impasse in your life ? You have done everything you can to make something work, but you are standing still, there seems to be no movement at all !

What is your logjam in your mind where you can’t get over ? What is preventing you from finding your happiness right now ?

It’s difficult to find the cause by just thinking about it, our ego will often get in the way and may bring up things that aren’t truthful, maybe you’ll start overthinking, which will only result in more worry and doubt !

The easist way to detect your king-pin is to release the emotion accompagnying the problem. My favorite way of tracing these trapped emotions is with Dr. Nelson’s emotion code. (If you would like to read the book, have access to the chart and the questions you can contact me on info@phuro.be to receive a free pdf version)

I suggest you teach yourself some basic muscle testing skills as this is necessary to detect these emotions. The more you practise the more confident you will become ! A body magnet is also a very useful tool to fully release the emotions !

You can experience headaches or other physical discomfort afterwards but these are just signs that your body is flushing away the negativity. This is only temporary and a good indication that your body is releasing these stored emotions.

Most of the times when I do a release on myself, the oppressive thought, or the cause of the blockage will just pop up in my head after a while. Then I am conscious of what has been blocking me all this time. A feeling of “AHA” is usually what follows !

If we would use this technique regularly to let go of the stuff we have been accumulating, we would find ourselves being more healthy, more energetic and even more succesful and wealthy.

Dear empaths, dear lovers of life, this life can be tough, for some it is a struggle to survive in this materialistic word. Know that you don’t need to be spiritual and poor. Abundance is here for all. You have to find your king-pin blocking your abundance !

As Florence wrote : “Most people consider life to be a battle, but it is not a battle, it is a game. It is a game, however, which cannot be played succesfully without knowledge of spiritual law. All power is given to men (through right thinking) to bring his heaven upon his earth and this is the goal of the game of life. The simple rules are fearless faith, nonresistance and love !”

Phuro! Be inspired!

Shatter the silence

A few years ago a woman told me her distressing story. It all happened when she was very young. She said that she took the boat to England with her father and her uncle. But it wasn’t just an overseas trip full of fun and pleasure; for the little girl it turned into a nightmare as she was raped by both her uncle and her father on board of that ship.

She was told that if she would cry or tell anyone “something” would happen to her or that she would simply be thrown overboard…

She had suppressed these horrific facts, she couldn’t even remember that the events took place…Until she experienced mental and physical problems in her twenties and she decided to go into regression therapy. There it all became clear what happened and what was really the cause of her problems.

A colleague of mine told me how she went to school one day when she was 12 and was molested by a group of youngster from her school. She made it to school, completely in tears and barely dressed…the woman is now in her fifties and could tell the story as if it happened yesterday…

A friend of mine told me how she fell of her bike one day while she was in the park with her mother…An older boy managed to get her out of view of her mother, told her he had some candies to comfort her so she followed him…well I don’t have to tell the result eighter…

And yes sadly enough me too, you can read my personal experience here !

I wish all these stories were just fictional ones, but sadly enough they aren’t and they still happen in real life all around the world…rape and murder of innocent children !

Luckily the metoo campaign worldwide brought some change or at least some attention to this deeply rooted problem of sexually harassing people, whether they are male or female !

But then there were these people complaining about all these things that the metoo campaign had taken away from them : no flower girls anymore at the end of a cycling competition, no babes surrounding the F1 cars anymore !

If you would have treated women respectfully and just celebrated their beauty as it should there wouldn’t be a problem. But you reaped what you sowed and now you have to face the consequences of regarding women as meat, exploiting their bodies just to satisfy your darkest desires…

Have you ever considered the consequences molestation has on people, especially children ? They face a life time struggle…

What those people lost due to abuse : they lost their trust in people, their belief in the good of men, they often lost their zest for life and are traumatized for life !

The next victim of abuse could be your daughter or your son, your sister or your brother…Just ask anyone you meet if they have been victim of abuse, you will be surprised of their answers….

Think about that the next time you are enjoying your porn !

Phuro! Be inspired!

Dating disasters…

Some people need a push at times to propel them into action, some can use a little help now and then when it comes to meeting new people, going on a date for example…

What if your friend goes on a date tonight but she is absolutely terrified ! She’s nervous…She’s afraid that she will stutter or have a total black out ! She has asked your help !

The only advice you can think of is a classic : “Imagine your date naked sweety, that’ll break the ice, that will do it ! ”

It surely gets you focused on something else for a while or it will at least put a smile on your face…but is this advice sufficient to overcome your fears and sense of insecurity ?

What if your friend says : “Well that’s my problem ! I feel naked the moment I find myself face to face with my date, I feel uncomfortable when they stare at me, I feel vulnerable and I’m afraid ! What can I do about that ?”

Here’s some advice inspired by Mis(s)behave Miranda in case of acute symptoms of insecurity :

Be vulnerable !

Pardon me ? Yes, you heard it very well my dear : your vulnerability might be your biggest asset. No need to hide anything ! You are your authentic you and you are expressing it ! You might aswell inspire and invite your date to do the same… just showing his true self, without any masks !

You are a real, genuine human, displaying your qualities and your flaws…You don’t pretend to be someone else. What you see is what you get…

Be prepared !

You can’t leave everything to chance…A little preparation might be necessary…Having a plan B in mind, having some subjects in mind to avoid these awkward moments of silence….

Controle freak ? Perfectionist ? I know you tend to get nervous even when you are fully equipped for the job, you might be very passionate, you even might be the very best in what you are doing but you often sabotage yourself because of your anxiety and insecurity. You put a lot of pressure on yourself !

You freak out when things don’t go as planned or when something unexpected happens…You anxiously want to be in control…you are definitely not the one who will improvise when things go wrong…

Know it’s all about balance…Try to be more spontaneous in your interactions with your partner ! Don’t be so tensed. Loosen up !

Never focus on the negative !

Do you know someone who attracts weird situations continuously as if Murphy’s law were inspired by them,….they seem to be chased by bad luck constantly…Every doom scenario comes to pass…Disaster is always following their footsteps…

Don’t think too much about the things that can go wrong. Whatever you focus on grows ! Your negative imagery, your doubts and worries will leave you even more insecure. Put some positivity in yourself !

With your thoughts and words you give yourself commands (autosuggestions). If you are unconscious of your negative self-talk, your thoughts will turn into a belief and will start a life of their own. They will play in auto mode in the back of your head, constantly attracting bad vibes…Break the pattern !

Be careful what you wish for and don’t put spells on yourself !

Ask advice !

You could do a role play with a friend and practise some good oneliners and jokes. You could ask them to interview you about a topic you are interested in or feel extremely excited and confident about !

You can ask them to be there as a support on the sidelines, as your back up in case of emergency…they can bring you back to senses, they can get your fire started, bring some welcome distraction to the party or scare your date away when he’s a creep !

“But what if I still make a complete fool out of myself…?”

Face your fears & do it anyway !

Do you really want to know if he’s mister Right…? Face your fears or face the regrets ! See it as a challenge. Be courageous ! Sharpen your senses and go for it !! And if at first you don’t succeed…brush yourself off and try again !

Always imagine a good outcome !

I guess I am repeating myself but… Learn to feel it for real baby !!! Focus on the desired outcome : change your vision until it feels good !

Influence your subconscious with the right impressions ! YES, IMPRESS IT ! You must make mental pictures of what you want and REPEAT them diligently but with ease, effortlessly and smoothly…

Rehearse your walk and talk and have fun improvising !!!

Phuro! Be inspired!

Love is now(-)here !

“Open your heart and surrender to the peace of a quiet mind and to the eternal no-thing-ness at the core of your existence. Here then is where your Eternal Nature is to be experienced and where the unconditional Love of our Lord awaits. It is simply what you are when there is nothing in your way.”

S. F. Pfister

When a relationship ends our whole world just seems to stop and collapse. A painful grieving process often begins. We feel uncomplete and we find ourselves wandering…wondering about old times. How we wish to experience those moments again…How we crave those people…Our love and happiness are living in the past.

When we experience a rough time or are facing some tough stuff in our relationship(s), we find ourselves dreaming of better times, we are looking forward to a more healthy or wealthy future…our time has yet to come… Our love and happiness are living in the future.

The present can feel so unpleasant that we constantly try to escape it, so in mind we rewind or fast forward continuously to better times. We return to reality only to find out our happiness isn’t here right now ! We get caught in a vicious cycle…

Nowhere – Now here

There is no past. the past is a mental picture, constantly edited by us. There is no future. There are only thoughts in the present about things that have not happened yet. We project our thoughts to future events. Again it is a mental picture !

We can only be conscious in the moment, we can only experience happiness and love now here !

You tell me that you have been looking for love everywhere ! You looked in every possible corner and it’s nowhere to be found ! It’s not there for you, it’s just not meant to be…

What you see are just reflections of your inner self, what you are lacking outside, you forgot to nourish within in the first place !

Here’s the problem : what you desire doesn’t correspond to your reality. You see two things : your desire and the lack of it in your life. You don’t have what you want and you start focusing on the lack.

Everywhere you go, you see people having what you want, you see loving couples kissing each other, your heart crumbles…Everyone you meet, reminds you of what you are currently missing and lacking in life !

What you want to attract in life you often repulse by connecting a negative emotion to it, by feeling bad about it. You reject your happiness because you are not feeling worthy…

You don’t feel worthy, you doubt and worry…You are afraid of making another mistake, you are jealous and envious of a friend…Feelings of blame, guilt, shame are keeping your vibration low. You radiate lack. Like attracts like so more lack is all that follows…

Set your heart free and tune up !

It’s not that what you desire is bad or impossible to accomplish. You just need to close the gap between your desire and actually having the experience of it. You close the gap by feeling your way into it. By bringing that feeling of acccomplishment, the feeling of “it is done” to the present moment. Live it ! Be it !

Are you corresponding and responding with love, radiating love or are you repulsing it and rejecting it ? Are you still judging and blaming others for your fails and fiascos in your relationships ? You have to let go of what ties you to the past. You need to soften up for your own sake !

When you are searching for a suiting song on the radio, you make sure when you stumble on the right one that you stay on the exact frequency of that particular radiostation broadcasting it !

You don’t stop before it or after it where you can barely hear it or where there’s disturbance…You adjust untill you hear it very brightly and clearly !

Love is always at our disposition, right here, right now. Not in a distant place and time. Love lies at our core. We only need to adjust our tuner and find the right frequency to unlock the magic !

Once we find the wisdom of the heart, it is our most accurate gps and steering wheel !

Phuro! Be inspired!